What is a Hipster and how do we get rid of them?

 Don’t deny it, you’re a hipster.
Ironic? Very.

QUESTION: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
ANSWER: It's some obscure number. You probably wouldn't understand.

Hipsters are young, independent-minded, counter-culture types. But I could be wrong because no hipster would actually admit that they are a specific type. To research hipsters is in itself a very ironic idea.

Artsy types have always been against what is anti-establishment. Hipsters have turned this behavior into a game of who can out-mainstream who. The coffee shouldn’t be from Starbucks, instead brewed at home and brought in with an environmentally-friendly mug. The home furniture has to be bought from Salvation Army or a garage sale. The music has to be completely unrecognizable to the regular audiophile. The clothes should be vintage with a sarcastic slogan-tee thrown in on occasion. Add a mustache or beard for men, and tight jeans. Really tight jeans. For the women in the hipster scene, wearing glasses even if you have perfect vision is considered essential along with wearing coats even in the heat of summertime. 

College minded hipster? Liberal Arts degree only! If you did manage a degree in science or accounting, state that you like the creative side of the numbers and formulas.

A definitive hipster trait is to like a majorly popular group like The Postal Service or Deerhoof, but you must state you enjoyed their previous work more and no longer consider them the prodigy they once were. Independent music is best so stay ahead of the game by going to as many shows as possible to be in the scene. Don’t forget to insult every band no matter what because street credibility is at stake.

For films, overly bad “B” movies must be studied religiously. If  in doubt, always revert to Toxic Avenger, or anything from Troma. References to films that no one knows will always make a hipster hip. If meeting someone that knows that film reference; either marry that person or dig deeper for less-known films.

Everything spoken should have sarcasm put in to show elitism over others, even if you do care for them. Facebook just won’t cut it unless you constantly update about how boring it is on the site and stating that too many people waste their lives on the computer. If you are a hipster with a romantic side, you probably should start a blog, but don’t use blogger, you need Wordpress.(I'm obviously not hip enough to use Wordpress. -D)

Wanting to get around is a necessity but hipsters don’t own cars. Use the bus, or walk. If you want to get around in style, get a single gear bike - buy it used and spray paint it yourself, of course.

The hipster lifestyle is not always an easy choice, but the rewards that come from it, such as always feeling superior to others is worth it. So go forth, and make obscurity known!